...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
