I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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