you didnt know i had herpes?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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