on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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