I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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