Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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