Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
