Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
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I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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