That's intense
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
