Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize