Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
