Christians are straight up FREAKS
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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