if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
