i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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