seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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