My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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