You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
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I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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