yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize