Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
