I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize