I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize