and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
