and my herpes radar will keep us safe
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
