Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT