whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
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That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
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i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!