is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm fucking your sister right now.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...