I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Green mimosas i think yes
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
