haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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