Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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