I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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