I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
