considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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