Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
