I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
