He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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