yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
a search helicopter?!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
