??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
