and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
