It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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