I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
