I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
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I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
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Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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