were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
