Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
