He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
