You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
