Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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