ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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