Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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