What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
