Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize