What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
