Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
