I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
