Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
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Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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