Where is the hickey?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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