he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
