I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
