weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
