Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
